Get A Love Life: Must-know Love & Relationship Advice From Female Dating Gurus

Kristina M.
Mar 13, 2018

Dating and relationship coaches offer third-party, educated and experienced views on what you are going through as you transverse the often treacherous world of dating and relationships. Are you one of them? AMAfeed supports dating and relationship coaches as they inspire others to create positive changes in their love lives. One of the best ways to provide that value is by giving your audience something unique – for example, giving answers to questions that only an expert could give! Be inspired, host your AMA event on our platform and let's make a big buzz about your love spells!

Are you sick of trying to navigate the dating world on your own or you are too shy to make the first move? Don't be! We know that dating can be hard, but that’s why we have brilliant female dating coaches, relationship coaches, and matchmakers who have hosted their AMA events on our #DatingAMA channel! These relationship wizards who were kind enough to share their wise tips with the rest of us in order to help people create social lifestyles, gain confidence, and find consistent success in their romantic endeavors. Do you call? Do you text? Do you send a freakin’ telegram? What the heck do you do these days and what is going to garner the best response? These female relationships and dating coaches are trained to listen and observe, and then customize the best course of action depending on a client's specific wants and needs. Take their tips and their advice, really soak them in and thank us later!

Strong, independent alpha females are self-sufficient, but they also have big hearts and they love hard. Those women know what they want and they always try to make the right choice in finding the one who’s special. With the proliferation of online dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, PlentyofFish, Grindr or OkCupid, there has been a noticeable rise of instant gratification without emotional intimacy in our dating culture. The want and need for immediate gratification lead to us giving up on people a little too quickly. Looking for flaws and any sort of shortcoming that will give us an excuse to walk away instead of trying harder. Dating today has become this game of robbing each other’s confidence and seeing who cares less because for some reason those people are getting the upper hand. Should we, therefore, give up on dating? Not at all!

Treva Brandon Scharf - Writer, Dating Expert

Was it a conscious choice being single for that long or just a matter of not settling for someone who is not « the one »?

This could be the question of the century! It was a combination of not being ready, and not wanting to settle. It was NOT a conscious choice, it was how I'm wired. I met great guys when I was single, but none were "The One," until "The One" showed up. Timing is everything! 

Timing is a crucial component in the success of a dating. It's not always easy waiting for someone to return your call and being patient when you really like someone can be daunting.There is such a thing as the right person, wrong time (vice versa!). Dating is all about timing. So, focus on what is important and wait if it is worth it. And the truth is that you will probably meet several people throughout your lifetime that may be “the one.” The problem is that they may not be “the one for now.” What does it mean? That means that we all should admit that we aren’t the same person from one stage to the next. Sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time. We do what we do, we are who we are, and then we learn from our mistakes and move on.

Ruby Le - Dating coach for the good-intentioned gentleman

Where do you want to see you and your clients in the next four to five years?

Where they've always wanted to be - whether that be married, with a family, or in a monogamous long-term relationship. What's more important to me is they develop the confidence and strength to go through this journey, knowing the ins and outs of what to do. I do not keep my clients for more than 6 months (it depends on what package they purchase, but this is the maximum time). I give them all they need so they don't need me anymore after a maximum of 6 months. 

We struggle, blame, judge and even hate. We shut down, we distance, and we run away. We do and say mean things or we just freeze in fear. As a society, we expect to fall madly in love and be in a successful relationship. We want to hear trumpets and whistles, we want to feel butterflies in our stomach and hear birds singing in our souls. The media and our culture inundate us with misinformation about how relationships are supposed to be. Many of us still think that when we find the one all will be well and they will complete us. Or maybe some of us think a “conscious” relationship means that we somehow transcend our issues, triggers, and neurosis. Being monogamous has a similar ideological sheen to getting married – it is something that we think we are supposed to do. Ask people why everyone should be monogamous/get married, and they will easily generate reasons for why it is better to do so than to be non-monogamous/ stay single. When we finally do commit to a long-term relationship and the warm fuzzies of the honeymoon stage wear off after six months or a year or two, we finally get to the goods of a real relationship. Maintaining your autonomy and independence will not only empower you as an individual by keeping you strong and maintaining your identity, it can also keep the passion, intimacy, and attraction alive for years to come.

Suzie the Single Dating Diva - Dating Expert & Coach

What are your deepest held beliefs about relationships and specifically for a long term and committed relationships?

I believe as people we need companionship and that takes on different forms for different people. It is important people are honest with themselves and others about what relationships mean for them. For example, if you prefer casual relationships then you shouldn't give people the impression that you're looking for something more serious. Personally, I'm in a long-term relationship and very happy because I have a partner that's ideal for me. We share a good life. Before that, I was happily single. I believe we should be happy where we're at regardless of our relationship status. What we are shouldn't define who we are.

When it comes to dating, honesty, and communication are considered the two biggest tools in creating and maintaining a successful relationship.If you're honest and say, "I just want a friends-with-benefits situation," there's always a risk of hurting the other person feeling, even when you have the best of intentions. But if you lie and put on a big show with dinner dates and flowers and then completely drop the other person after you hook up, you're making things even worst because you weren't honest about what you wanted. With the right wording, the right tone, and the right mental state, you can get what you want without giving the wrong impression. Honesty is indeed the best policy.

Zainab Mohiuddin - Tinderella Worldwide, the dating and Tinder coach everyone needs

What should one expect from first dates? How should one handle first dates?

If you mean expectations of others, then I'd say that mental guidelines on your own reactions will serve you better than those expectations. Don't expect anything - they could be a Superman, they could be an asshole. There is no point trying to paint an image in your head of something you cannot control. Instead, map out how you will react to certain situations because that is something you can control. Say to yourself, e.g. "If he's an asshole, I will get a call from a friend or fake one and leave." Saying that will make you more decisive to take action should it come to that. Or "If he's absolutely amazing and we are really getting on, I will probably make out with him" - set your own boundaries, nobody has any right to judge you apart from yourself. 

How important are "sparks" on first dates? Should everyone need to have this on first dates? Why or why not?

Sparks are AMAZING on a first date and it's lovely to feel chemistry on both sides. However, it isn't absolutely necessary and shouldn't come in the way of having a good time. Over half of the dates, I go on don't have any chemistry in them whatsoever. And I know I'm not alone in this experience. If I were to go on a date expecting chemistry to be necessary, then I would be disappointed, disheartened and deflated most of the time. 

Instead, I choose to go on dates to enjoy myself, have fun, meet someone new and learn something new. This is a factor that I can control, unlike chemistry. So yeah if there's mind-blowing chemistry, that is awesome, but if there isn't then it's still fine. We are individuals with the potential to build our lives ourselves and no need to depend on others to make or break our happiness. 

First dates are often romantic and exciting but can be nerve-racking experiences for some. So, how do you deal with the anxiety that inevitably comes with the first-date territory? As cliché, as it sounds, being yourself, is probably best first date advice. There's nothing more exciting than feeling sparks on an amazing first date. But what does that chemistry actually mean? What does it really mean to have chemistry with someone? Most people aren’t sure exactly what it is, but they know it when they feel it. If you have good chemistry with someone, such as on a first date, you’ll want to pursue more time with him or her. If there is bad chemistry, then it’s unlikely you’ll want to see each other again. With all the complex intricacies that can occur on in a first date, it’s tough to expect perfection. If we let our guards down a bit and relax, have fun, be comfortable in our own skin and make our dates comfortable in theirs, you’ll never know what kind of surprises you'll discover. If first dates strike a chord of fear or frustration in you, or you wish you could skip past a first date and just get to the relationship, you have the wrong impression of the purpose of dating. First dates should be fun and something you look forward to. After all, it’s a chance to meet a new human being, hear someone else’s life story and make a new connection. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Patsy Coghlan - Relationship coach

Dating is the first part of courtship, what tips can you give as to how couples can continue to keep the love alive in a relationship?

Your right that courtship is the first part of dating and a very important stage too. There are several other stages and moving through them is equally as important to create commitment and trust within the relationship. Ensuring that you both grow and learn within the relationship is important in order not to leave each other behind. One of the most common things I hear in couples struggling is taking each other or one party for granted, it is, therefore, imperative to keep the communication open and honest, as well as taking time out to listen well in case any changes need to take place.

Keeping the fun alive is very important to long-term relationships as is time to yourself and with friends separately. Being too co-dependent can result in losing your identity and your confidence so it's very important to not become too co-dependent within the relationship. Mutual respect will help to keep love alive as feeling invisible can often result in falling out of love.

And one of the most common issues is not keeping the physical spark alive, if this has changed its best not to ignore it but to address why it's changed and work on that, getting the intimacy back on track.Remembering why you fell in love in the first place is always a good tip ..take a moment to put those happy memories to the front of your mind.

Courtship doesn't start with a first date or even with an introduction by a mutual friend. It actually starts much earlier than that with each individual deciding on their intentions. One of the great things about early courtship is discovering all the amazing things about someone new and the many gifts that they bring into your life.

April Davis- LUMA - Luxury Matchmaking Founder/Matchmaker/LifeCoach

What are some suggestions you can offer to a person to maintain the interesting conversation during a first date and does the suggestions differ depending on whether the person is male or female?

It's okay to admit you are nervous! Most likely they are too and it can be a great icebreaker. No, don't talk about the weather. Remember this is the first meeting, ask questions! Don't just talk about yourself, you want to get to know your date. Definitely, avoid politics and do not lie! Politics can be a subject people have opinions on and since this is the first date and you are just trying to get to know the person it is not necessary.

Feeling some level of first-date anxiety is par for the course. When you meet someone for the first time many things seem to be at stake. Will they like you? Will you like them? Will there be enough chemistry? Do you look good enough? Are you too nervous? Are you going to screw it up? It's okay to be nervous on a first date.  It's completely normal. During a date, try to focus on listening and responding to the other person. That way, you can keep up with the conversation and not spend all of your energy worrying about your anxiety. Also, remember that everyone in a conversation is equally responsible for how it flows. If the conversation feels awkward, remember that it’s not all on you to change things. Again, if you're feeling like you're drowning in nerves, find a funny way to address them so you take away some of their power. With this line, assure your date that any pained, contorted faces you make throughout the night are by no means indicative of how you feel about them — it's just your nerves making their way to your face.

Stacy Karyn - Online dating consultant and profile writer

What are the major differences between online dating and real-time dating?

I actually see “online dating” and “real-time dating” to be quite intertwined. Online dating should lead to real-time dating eventually, so it’s important to be as authentic as possible when online in order to make a smoother transition.

And as for the differences between the two, online dating tends to act as a nice protective shell for many people. It’s easier to step out of your comfort zone, say things you wouldn’t normally say, and take risks you wouldn’t usually take. In my opinion, this can be a great thing! It can allow people to go on dates with each other regardless of how shy or nervous one of them may initially be. But once jumping into real-time dating, the shell disappears. There’s nothing left to hide under and we are forced to present our true selves. But this is great too! It's a necessary step that we need to take in order to find a suitable match.

Chances are you've heard a lot of advice and stories— good and bad—from your friends. The truth is, online dating is different for everyone, and not all advice applies to every situation. You won't know what works for you until you try it. Thanks to the internet, people have many more avenues to form intense friendships and romantic relationships than they ever have before.  If you meet someone online and things really click, you may wish to get to know the person in real life. Even when they go badly, these meetups are almost never as bad as you imagined.

Jillian and Jan Yuhas, MFT, CPC - Relationship & Lifestyle Coaches

What is the best way to win a date? Does one have to have a certain look to be winnable?

We don't like to think of it as "winning" a date, but how can you attract your ideal partner. Confidence is the number one trait in attracting a partner. However, dressing the part and having healthy hygiene can go along way in terms of sexual chemistry. We have about 7 seconds to make an impression on someone, so you want to make sure it is a lasting one. 

If you have an online dating profile, you'll want to create a collection of images that portray you in the best light. Images that capture your personality, lifestyle, and an openness to a relationship. Displaying images of partying pics or hiding behind sunglasses/hats, can attract the wrong partner. Your images will need to convey a story about who you are to match with a compatible partner.

We've all heard not to judge a book by its cover but anyone with an online dating account will know that choosing the perfect profile picture for your page is a tricky business. When you go to pick a photo for your profile on a dating site or app, you probably just opt for one that you think you look the best in. The profile photo is the important first impression, and "it should be friendly and approachable" as well as attractive. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that your potential date doesn’t really care about your photo.  They do, just like you.

Renee Slansky - Dating and Relationship Coach, Blogger, TV Presenter and Fairy Godmother

What is your opinion about dating sites?

I think dating sites are a great way to narrow down who is available or not. It means we have a direct opportunity to connect with who is single. Of course, they do now guarantee that you will meet your ideal partner, which is why most people get disappointed or have a negative experience. They place too much expectation on dating sites and forget what they are really about - a way to be connected to other singles. I think if you lack the social confidence to approach someone IRL then they are a good way to still be able to chat and ask people out. They are also great for being able to connect with more compatible matches.