The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. I’m feeling a little anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. It all began with the forging of the Great Rings. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23. And now, look at me, wasted away to practically nothing. I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. As if! I am Groot. I see dead people. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world. I'm surrounded by idiots. These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, I don't have any rules. I am not under any orders to make the world a better place. Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe. Don’t call me a mindless philosopher. You met me at a very strange time in my life. I’m trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. One does not simply walk into Mordor. If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Sell crazy someplace else; we're all stocked up here. I'm Batman!
It’s not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me!